and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Randomize
