Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
