We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
