haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
