Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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