Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I FOUND THE LEGS
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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