Texts From Last Night

(443): View more from Maryland

i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?

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@sexyboy14: Your name implies 1 of 3 possibilities: you are compensating for having a very small penis, you are dog shit ugly, or you are 14 years old. Either way, please leave this website and never come back.

Submitted by anon33 on Apr 24, 10 at 10:00am

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- hahahahaha
  
  Submitted by hunnietomybee on Apr 24, 10 at 11:04am
  
  137 136
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- anon33 is awesome thank you for that
  
  Submitted by sequioa on Apr 24, 10 at 6:05pm
  
  160 154
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No beer?

Submitted by meghanlovesscott on Apr 24, 10 at 9:47am

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But were you topless?

Submitted by imgumbydammit on Apr 24, 10 at 9:57am

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i understand. i thought the same thing this morning when i woke up and my friends told me that i made a pie and did laundry while i was drunk haha

Submitted by cortlabort on Apr 24, 10 at 12:24pm

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Haha I cancelled all dates because of playoffs! And then I bake muffins between periods. I'm single, too. It's a tragedy.

Submitted by spurtiic on Apr 24, 10 at 1:16pm

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I'd rather just watch the draft and smoke some weed.

Submitted by ericalew on Apr 24, 10 at 12:21pm

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If your even decent looking...I'd probably marry you right now

Submitted by ninerfan164280 on Apr 24, 10 at 11:43am

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Well you forgot to mention the part that you are 300 pounds cuz u ate all the damn cookies

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 24, 10 at 10:35am

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If you're a girl, just open the window topless, and shout that text to the street. Problem solved.

Submitted by InEtherWeTrust on Apr 24, 10 at 11:06am

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I was thinking the same thing 9:47!! No beer???

Submitted by purpleispretty on Apr 24, 10 at 9:53am

131 146
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If you're a dude, you just answered your own question. If you're a chick, please come over.

Submitted by pigglywiggly on Apr 24, 10 at 3:35pm

127 139
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ugly...

Submitted by carlp on Apr 25, 10 at 1:44am

131 150
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A chick watching the draft too? Contact me!

Submitted by wilddude on Apr 24, 10 at 12:42pm

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You're probably ugly as fuck

Submitted by Hoser on Apr 24, 10 at 9:54pm

125 155
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cuz ur actually a tranny

Submitted by ^_^ on Apr 24, 10 at 12:19pm

131 168
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Maryland! 410!

Submitted by FourWunOh on Apr 25, 10 at 7:41am

121 158
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my girlfriend hate sports, can you please contact me?

Submitted by arodyankee10 on Apr 24, 10 at 12:06pm

122 161
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Bitch forgot the damn sandwitch!

Submitted by blargmeansno on Apr 24, 10 at 9:19pm

128 184
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I'll date you!

Submitted by greenbumho on Apr 24, 10 at 10:21am

117 164
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I have the perfect man for you then call him at....(see replies)

Submitted by akutch34 on Apr 26, 10 at 10:10am

114 161
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- 443 831...
  
  Submitted by akutch34 on Apr 26, 10 at 10:12am
  
  107 135
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  - 4403
    
    Submitted by akutch34 on Apr 26, 10 at 10:14am
    
    102 160
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because you're straight. lol. guys would be all over that shit.

Submitted by JnOaRdDrAoNj on Apr 27, 10 at 5:59pm

101 138
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Fuck cookies! Get drunk!

Submitted by meghanlovesscott on Apr 24, 10 at 11:05am

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If your making cookies your probably overweight, but that only means more cushion for the pushin. plus a man can slap your leg and ride the wave, your like Martha Stewart and a water park all in one convient box.-

Submitted by cazzo on Apr 24, 10 at 10:18am

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Cuz your morbidly obese...

Submitted by guitar_boy on Apr 25, 10 at 5:33pm

105 157
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Maybe you have a face only a mother could love?

Submitted by CravenMoorehead on Apr 24, 10 at 10:15am

109 169
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Your either hidiedous or crazy. I don't know any man who wouldn't wanna snatch some tail like that up other wise

Submitted by creamcorn on Apr 24, 10 at 7:34pm

101 156
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Bc boys are lammmee.

Submitted by alyshayo on Apr 26, 10 at 1:38am

93 141
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If you're female

Submitted by piebald on Apr 25, 10 at 3:48pm

97 162
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Prob cause u want to be, G.

Submitted by surferchic on Apr 24, 10 at 11:32am

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Cause your probably ugly as fuck

Submitted by sexyboy14 on Apr 24, 10 at 9:48am

121 256
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(443): View more from Maryland

Comments

Submitted by anon33 on Apr 24, 10 at 10:00am

Submitted by hunnietomybee on Apr 24, 10 at 11:04am

Submitted by sequioa on Apr 24, 10 at 6:05pm

Submitted by meghanlovesscott on Apr 24, 10 at 9:47am

Submitted by imgumbydammit on Apr 24, 10 at 9:57am

Submitted by cortlabort on Apr 24, 10 at 12:24pm

Submitted by spurtiic on Apr 24, 10 at 1:16pm

Submitted by ericalew on Apr 24, 10 at 12:21pm

Submitted by ninerfan164280 on Apr 24, 10 at 11:43am

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 24, 10 at 10:35am

Submitted by InEtherWeTrust on Apr 24, 10 at 11:06am

Submitted by purpleispretty on Apr 24, 10 at 9:53am

Submitted by pigglywiggly on Apr 24, 10 at 3:35pm

Submitted by carlp on Apr 25, 10 at 1:44am

Submitted by wilddude on Apr 24, 10 at 12:42pm

Submitted by Hoser on Apr 24, 10 at 9:54pm

Submitted by ^_^ on Apr 24, 10 at 12:19pm

Submitted by FourWunOh on Apr 25, 10 at 7:41am

Submitted by arodyankee10 on Apr 24, 10 at 12:06pm

Submitted by blargmeansno on Apr 24, 10 at 9:19pm

Submitted by greenbumho on Apr 24, 10 at 10:21am

Submitted by akutch34 on Apr 26, 10 at 10:10am

Submitted by akutch34 on Apr 26, 10 at 10:12am

Submitted by akutch34 on Apr 26, 10 at 10:14am

Submitted by JnOaRdDrAoNj on Apr 27, 10 at 5:59pm

Submitted by meghanlovesscott on Apr 24, 10 at 11:05am

Submitted by cazzo on Apr 24, 10 at 10:18am

Submitted by guitar_boy on Apr 25, 10 at 5:33pm

Submitted by CravenMoorehead on Apr 24, 10 at 10:15am

Submitted by creamcorn on Apr 24, 10 at 7:34pm

Submitted by alyshayo on Apr 26, 10 at 1:38am

Submitted by piebald on Apr 25, 10 at 3:48pm

Submitted by surferchic on Apr 24, 10 at 11:32am

Submitted by sexyboy14 on Apr 24, 10 at 9:48am

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