But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
