I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My first STD was from a foam party
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
