But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
