Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
