Heybabeimwearingurpanties
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
