So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
