Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she looked like the before picture.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
