Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
