Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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