Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
