Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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