Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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