Where did you get a picture of my penis
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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