how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
