why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
