I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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