oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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