Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How naked do you want me to be?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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