His nipple licking is glorious
Send us your Text From Last Night!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
