So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
