If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
