I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
