You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
