The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
