just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I want her autograph on my taint
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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