Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
