my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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