saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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