So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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