guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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