she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
