Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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