the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
