i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
