Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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