i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
