but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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