im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
