They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
