I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
