Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
