Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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