I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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