just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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