I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
