Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Screwed.edu
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This is my gift to your gina
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
