Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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